Posts Tagged ‘Script’

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Dreaming on a Train

March 12, 2011

[Scene: George has reluctantly taken Gracie as his wife.  They are on a train from New York to Los Angeles and at night they are sleeping separately.]

Gracie: Oh, you know something: the more telegraph poles I count, the less I know what to do with them. Why is that?

George: Humph.

Gracie: Georgie Porgie, I couldn’t sleep last night; I had the strangest dream.

George: You had a dream and yet you couldn’t sleep.

Gracie: Well, sure, a daydream.

George: I see… last night you had a daydream.

Gracie: In the upper birth… I was so lonesome up there, and there weren’t any sheep to count.

George: The train stops in Wyoming to pick up sheep.

Gracie: Oh, goodie, then I won’t be lonesome tonight.

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A Funny Thing…

February 18, 2011

Gracie: A funny thing happened to my mother in Cleveland.

George: I thought you were born in Buffalo.

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Following Instructions

January 13, 2011

Gracie: You can’t eat these peaches, it’s twelve o’clock!

Harry Morton: What has that got to do with it?

Gracie: It says right here: should serve from two to four.

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Logical Postage

December 21, 2010

George: This letter feels kind of heavy. I’d better put another stamp on it.

Gracie: What for? It’ll only make it heavier.

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It’s All Relative

November 30, 2010

Real Estate Agent: I presume the bedrooms are upstairs.

Gracie: Yes, except when you’re upstairs. Then they’re on the same floor.

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