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Wild Bird Seed

April 19, 2009

In Many Happy Returns, Gracie is the daughter of a wealthy department store owner.  She decides that she will tear down the store and replace it with a bird sanctuary.  Logically a bird sanctuary needs birds.  So Gracie calls a local zoo…

Gracie: Is this the zoo?  Ah, this is Gracie Allen.  I’d like you to send me a lot of wild birds… oh, about 2 dozen.  I want 12 canaries, 3 tenors, 2 bass singers and the rest sapranos… and be sure they all read music.  2 sparrows and, uh, 5 ostritches; 2 males and 2 females and the other one just a pelican.  That’s only 23.  Well, let me see, give me a small goose.  That will just make 2 dozen.  Send them COD and I’ll mail you a check at the first of the month.

[Later.]

Oh, is this the zoo?  Oh, hi zoo, this is me.  Now about those wild birds I was ordering for my sanctuary: You know, at first I thought of planting birdseed and raising my own birds.  But it takes so long and besides you can’t tell the male seed from the female seed, and so I…

[Conversation interrupted and finished by Mr. Allen (Gracie’s father played by George Barbier)]

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