The Surprise Party PlatformMay 16, 2009
Highlights from the Surprise Party Platform
Congress Must Go! The Senate is the only show in the world where the cash customers have to sit in the balcony. Put Congress on a commission basis — if they do a good job, they get 10 percent of the extra take.
Extend Civil Service to All Branches of Government — a little politeness goes a long way!
End Secrecy in Foreign Affairs — if Charles Boyer is going around with Greta Garbo, the people are entitled to know about it.
Take the Fizz Out of Fiscal! Put our money in a safe bank — at 2 percent it’s a good investment, so let’s put it in three banks and get 6 percent! Learning to balance the budget would be a waste of time, on account of where would a juggling act get booking today after what George Burns did in vaudeville?