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The List

November 2, 2009

Gracie: Thomas Edison, Winston Churchill. How can they pick men like that to head the list?

George: I’m intrested to know, Gracie, who is your choice?

Gracie: Need you ask, George? I’m thinking of a man whose glorious romantic voice has thrilled millions.

George: ‘The birds are sweetly singing and perfumed flowers are bringing in the wind-‘

Gracie: No, a man whose charm and talent are world-famous.

George: Gracie, this is getting embarrassing.

Gracie: Only one man should top this list–Charles Boyer.

George: Charles Boyer?

Gracie: Uh-huh.

George: You put him ahead of Edison?

Gracie: Yep.

George: Edison invented the electric lights.

Gracie: With Boyer, who needs them?

George: Gracie, there are some pretty great men on this list.

Gracie: Not as great as Boyer. Well, look at these names. Arturo Toscanini, conductor. How do you like that? A man who punches transfers.

George: He happens to be a musical conductor.

Gracie: All right, so he hums while he punches transfers. And here’s another one, Einstein. Now what did he do?

George: Einstein?

Gracie: Yes.

George: What did he do?

Gracie: Uh-huh.

George: He’s the father of relativity.

Gracie: Oh, what does she do?

George: Relativity Einstein?

Gracie: Yeah.

George: She’s at Warner Bros…  You know, Gracie, for a minute there, instead of Boyer, I thought that you thought that I belonged on that list of great men.

Gracie: Oh. Oh, well, you see, George, you’re my husband and I don’t think of you as a man.

George: Well, thanks.

Gracie: I mean, I don’t think of you as a man who does anything.

George: Thanks again.

Gracie: I mean, I don’t think of you as a man that does anything romantic.

George: A triple thanks, and stop thinking about me.

Gracie: Aw, now I’ve hurt your feelings, and I didn’t mean to, George. You know, I’d rather be married to you than any man on this list: Churchill, Edison, Stalin, Hitler.

George: You have just earned my fourth ‘Thank you.’

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