The ListNovember 2, 2009
Gracie: Thomas Edison, Winston Churchill. How can they pick men like that to head the list?
George: I’m intrested to know, Gracie, who is your choice?
Gracie: Need you ask, George? I’m thinking of a man whose glorious romantic voice has thrilled millions.
George: ‘The birds are sweetly singing and perfumed flowers are bringing in the wind-‘
Gracie: No, a man whose charm and talent are world-famous.
George: Gracie, this is getting embarrassing.
Gracie: Only one man should top this list–Charles Boyer.
George: Charles Boyer?
George: You put him ahead of Edison?
George: Edison invented the electric lights.
Gracie: With Boyer, who needs them?
George: Gracie, there are some pretty great men on this list.
Gracie: Not as great as Boyer. Well, look at these names. Arturo Toscanini, conductor. How do you like that? A man who punches transfers.
George: He happens to be a musical conductor.
Gracie: All right, so he hums while he punches transfers. And here’s another one, Einstein. Now what did he do?
George: What did he do?
George: He’s the father of relativity.
Gracie: Oh, what does she do?
George: Relativity Einstein?
George: She’s at Warner Bros… You know, Gracie, for a minute there, instead of Boyer, I thought that you thought that I belonged on that list of great men.
Gracie: Oh. Oh, well, you see, George, you’re my husband and I don’t think of you as a man.
George: Well, thanks.
Gracie: I mean, I don’t think of you as a man who does anything.
George: Thanks again.
Gracie: I mean, I don’t think of you as a man that does anything romantic.
George: A triple thanks, and stop thinking about me.
Gracie: Aw, now I’ve hurt your feelings, and I didn’t mean to, George. You know, I’d rather be married to you than any man on this list: Churchill, Edison, Stalin, Hitler.
George: You have just earned my fourth ‘Thank you.’