Posts Tagged ‘Old Radio Show’

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Graduation from Radio to TV

February 6, 2011

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Oddly enough, the versitility of their acts allowed Burns and Allen to mold to any medium. Moving from the stage to the radio did not phase them one bit.

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Anti-Aging Experiment

June 14, 2010

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Gracie: Well, I sent your handwriting in to be analyzed, and you’re in the wrong business. You have the hands of a surgeon.

George: What?

Gracie: Your handwriting has revealed the inner you, the real George Burns. You were never meant to be an actor. That’s why people laugh at you.

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Gracie Gets a Letter from her Sister

May 1, 2010

George: Look. You got a letter from your sister, Bessie.

Gracie: Oh! Bessie!

George: What did she say? Did she say anything?

Gracie: Well, she’s just wonderful herself. But her son, Willy…

George: Willy. Willy? That’s the one with the high blood pressure. The one who sleeps on the floor to keep his blood pressure down?

Gracie: Yes, that’s the one.

George: Smart kid.

Gracie: Yes.

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Is the General In?

September 28, 2009

Gracie: Is this the biggest hospital in town?

Nurse: Yes, this is the General Hospital.

Gracie: Good, I’d like to speak to the head man. Is the General in?

Nurse: The General?

Gracie: Well, if he’s not in I’ll speak to someone even lower: a private.

Nurse: There is no private here either.

Gracie: Oh, there must be. His name is right on that door: “Private Ward.”

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Gracie Explains the News

August 18, 2009

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Bill Goodwin (announcer): It’s morning in the Burns’ home and Gracie, the house wife, has cleared away the breakfast dishes. Now Gracie, the newspaper columnist, is ready to clear away the problems of the world.

Gracie: My the paper is full of news this morning. I hardly know which item to explain to the readers of my column.

George: You explain the news to them?

Gracie: Oh, yes. Everyone doesn’t have my uncanny grasp of world affairs. I’m not the average person, George.

George: That I’ve known for years.

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Swan Soap

May 23, 2009

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Guy Lombardo and His Royal Canadians

April 23, 2009

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