OTHERS MAKE GOOD, WHY NOT YOU?
PRESIDENTS are made, not born. That’s a good thing to remember. It’s silly to think that Presidents are born, because very few people are 35 years old at birth, and those who are won’t admit it. So if you’re only 16 don’t be discouraged, because it’s only a phase and there’s nothing wrong with you that you won’t outgrow.
Of course, times are different now, especially with Daylight Saving. Lincoln had certain advantages we don’t have today. For instance, he could go out and split a bunch of rails, but the railroads are using iron ones more and more. Now the only things left to split are bananas and infinitives. If you split too many bananas you get in a rut and end up behind a soda fountain, and if you split infinitives the voters will think you can’t afford a ghost writer. Then too, Lincoln could work out his problems by writing on a shovel, but if you try that now the WPA foreman will fire you for playing during shirking hours.