Posts Tagged ‘President of the United States’

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To All Other Presidential Candidates

August 4, 2011

To all other presidential candidates; of the United States of America.

Gentlemen?

Well, boys, the jig is up. Election Day will be in November this year. Turkies will cost you 38 cents a pound cranberries will be 50 cents a bucket. Plum puddings will be 2 dollars each. But for my good friends it won’t cost a nickel so go out and vote for me.

Gracie, you are asking all the other presidential candidates to vote for you?

Sure, there are so many that even if I get half of them to vote for me I’m bound to be elected.

I see what you mean.

This letter is being dictated by a lady, typewritten by a lady so don’t forget to take your hats off while you’re reading it.

Gracie Allen
President of the United States

Gracie, you’re not president yet.

Well, I will be by the time this letter is delivered.

Make 50,000 copies and mail one to each candidate. Address the letters in girlish handwriting and send it to their homes. I want their wives to read it too.

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Qualities of a Good President

July 23, 2009

George: Gracie, have you any idea what a person has to be before they become president?
 

Gracie: Sure, they’re elected.

George: The whole thing is absurd.

Gracie: Oh, stop worrying, George.  I may not even be elected until next November.

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